1. Above all such a superior is holy, and often Catholics will be able to perceive this, (see Catholic intuition, sidebar).
2. He sets and maintains higher spiritual standards for himself than his subjects.
3. He is a man of prayer, but does not force his spiritual practices and personal outlook on others.
4. He is compassionate, patient, understanding, forgiving and encouraging.
5. He also, when necessary, is firm, unyielding in matters of faith, a champion of justice, impartial and unbiased.
6. When he errs, he admits it, apologizes and corrects the error.
7. He leads his flock mainly by example, by teaching and by instructing.
8. He employs the various talents and abilities of his subjects profitably to effect the salvation of souls and is known by his fruits. For as the pastor, so the flock.
9. He faithfully follows Divine law, all Church teachings and Canon Law, both in his personal life and in the guidance of his subjects.
10. He never asks an inferior to do what he himself is not willing to do.
11. He can be easily approached for advice, and in matters of doubt or disagreement.
12. He will not attempt to give what he does not have, always pointing subjects in the proper direction for expert assistance.
13. He will objectively mediate any problems among various members of his flock.
14. He treats all as individuals according to their particular makeup, needs and personal situations.
15. He practices what he preaches and has no personal agenda.
16. He faithfully keeps personal conversations and counseling sessions confidential.
17. He has no favorites.
18. He makes the means of salvation and spiritual aids available to all equally, without exception.
19. He respects the rights of inferiors.
20. He is the soul of politeness, modesty, humility, meekness and respectability.

(Below are some generic guidelines covering all branches of "spirituality" and spiritual leaders. Their inclusion here is by no means an endorsement of other religions. They are useful by way of comparison and to better measure how far off course any particular leader might be, even by non-Catholic standards.)

CHARACTERISTICS OF SPIRITUALLY ABUSIVE SYSTEMS

1) POWER-POSTURING simply means that the leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and reminding others of it, as well. This is necessary because their spiritual authority isn’t real — based on genuine Godly character. It is postured.

2) PERFORMANCE PREOCCUPATION. These systems are preoccupied with the performance of their members, and their authority is legislated. Obedience and Submission are two important words often used.

3) UNSPOKEN RULES. In abusive spiritual systems, people’s lives are controlled from the outside in by rules, spoken and unspoken. Because these rules are not said out loud, you don’t find out that they are there until you break them. The most powerful of all unspoken rules is the "can’t talk "rule, which means if you speak about the problem out loud, you are the problem. This rule blames the person who talks, and the ensuing punishments pressure questioners into silence.

4) LACK OF BALANCE IN LIVING OUT THE TRUTH OF THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. This characteristic describes either extreme objectivism or extreme subjectivism in their approaches to life. They see spiritual authority based exclusively on level of education and intellectual capacity or totally contingent on the leaders’ receiving the members’ truth through the Lord’s spiritual revelations.

5) PARANOIA. In a place where authority is grasped and legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. This mentality builds a strong wall around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave — because they will then be outsiders too.

6) MISPLACED LOYALTY is fostered and even demanded. Here following authority is legislated by a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God.

7) SECRETIVE. When you see people in a religious system being secretive — watch out. People don’t hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate.

When these characteristics exist in a church or Christian family system, the result will be spiritual abuse. It will be a closed system, with rigid boundaries that prevent people from leaving. There will be the perception of a lot of evil on the outside, to keep people in, and there will be a lot of power postured on the inside to compel you to perform. There will also be tired, wounded people who feel that they are either unspiritual or crazy. And they will have major problems relating to God from the heart.

(Johnson, D. & VanVonderen J. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. (1991) Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers)

Code of Ethics for Spiritual Guides
[Preamble] People have long sought to enrich their lives and to awaken to their full natures through spiritual practices including prayer, meditation, mind-body disciplines, service, ritual, community liturgy, holyday and seasonal observances, and rites of passage. "Primary religious practices" are those intended, or especially likely, to bring about exceptional states of consciousness such as the direct experience of the divine, of cosmic unity, or of boundless awareness.
In any community, there are some who feel called to assist others along spiritual paths, and who are known as ministers, rabbis, pastors, curanderas, shamans, priests, or other titles. We call such people 'guides': those experienced in some practice, familiar with the terrain, and who act to facilitate the spiritual practices of others. A guide need not claim exclusive or definitive knowledge of the terrain.
Spiritual practices, and especially primary religious practices, carry risks. Therefore, when an individual chooses to practice with the assistance of a guide, both take on special responsibilities. The Council on Spiritual Practices proposes the following Code of Ethics for those who serve as spiritual guides.

* [Intention] Spiritual guides are to practice and serve in ways that cultivate awareness, empathy, and wisdom.

* [Serving Society] Spiritual practices are to be designed and conducted in ways that respect the common good, with due regard for public safety, health, and order. Because the increased awareness gained from spiritual practices can catalyze desire for personal and social change, guides shall use special care to help direct the energies of those they serve, as well as their own, in responsible ways that reflect a loving regard for all life.

* [Serving Individuals] Spiritual guides shall respect and seek to preserve the autonomy and dignity of each person. Participation in any primary religious practice must be voluntary and based on prior disclosure and consent given individually by each participant while in an ordinary state of consciousness. Disclosure shall include, at a minimum, discussion of any elements of the practice that could reasonably be seen as presenting physical or psychological risks. In particular, participants must be warned that primary religious experience can be difficult and dramatically transformative.
* Guides shall make reasonable preparations to protect each participant's health and safety during spiritual practices and in the periods of vulnerability that may follow. Limits on the behaviors of participants and facilitators are to be made clear and agreed upon in advance of any session. Appropriate customs of confidentiality are to be established and honored.

* [Competence] Spiritual guides shall assist with only those practices for which they are qualified by personal experience and by training or education.

* [Integrity] Spiritual guides shall strive to be aware of how their own belief systems, values, needs, and limitations affect their work. During primary religious practices, participants may be especially open to suggestion, manipulation, and exploitation; therefore, guides pledge to protect participants and not to allow anyone to use that vulnerability in ways that harm participants or others.

* [Quiet Presence] To help safeguard against the harmful consequences of personal and organizational ambition, spiritual communities are usually better allowed to grow through attraction rather than active promotion.

* [Not for Profit] Spiritual practices are to be conducted in the spirit of service. Spiritual guides shall strive to accommodate participants without regard to their ability to pay or make donations.

* [Tolerance] Spiritual guides shall practice openness and respect towards people whose beliefs are in apparent contradiction to their own.

* [Peer Review] Each guide shall seek the counsel of other guides to help ensure the wholesomeness of his or her practices and shall offer counsel when there is need.

This draft for public comment was released 10 August 2001. The current version is available on the Internet at www.csp.org.

Copyright © 1995 - 2001 Council on Spiritual Practices

Box 460820
San Francisco, CA 94146-0820
USA

Permission is hereby given to reprint this Code, provided that the text is reproduced complete and verbatim, including the CSP contact information, copyright, and this notice of limited permission to reprint.

Ten warning signs of a potentially unsafe group/leader:

1. Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability.

2. No tolerance for questions or critical inquiry.

3. No meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget, expenses such as an independently audited financial statement.

4. Unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions.

5. There is no legitimate reason to leave, former followers are always wrong in leaving, negative or even evil.

6. Former members often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances.

7. There are records, books, news articles, or television programs that document the abuses of the group/leader.

8. Followers feel they can never be "good enough".

9. The group/leader is always right.

10. The group/leader is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation, no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible.

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